first u/s

I want to be happy.  I really do, but we were scared as we waited for the results of what was seen. 

With irregular periods the “clinical dating lacks behind menstrual dating”…and although there is a heartbeat, it was not what it should be. 

Today is the first day the heartbeat can be acknowledged.  It’s seven beats away from what’s considered normal.

When I got home from the appointment I immediately started researching and it’s scary to think that maybe the little bugger won’t make it this time.  I hate statistics and I hate that I take for granted that everything should go according to a healthy little plan.

He thinks I’m not thinking positively.  And it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that it’ll be easier to recoil into misery and sadness if the pregnancy does fail rather than reverse a cheerful attitude.

According to the u/s I’m six weeks along.  I’d have an August baby.

I want an August baby.

I want my baby.

Say a prayer for us.

Love,

itsy bitsy mama