mish mash

Welcome to Monday, everyone.  What should I have for lunch today? I need to go grocery shopping after work so I have nothing set for lunch in a mere 1/2 hour.  My belly? Is hungry.  So my baby? Is too.  This post is crazy random, but a weekend recap!

Friday night my mother and I went shopping and I had a blast.  I got spoiled.  A mother-daughter outing for some much needed maternity wear.  Fun times!!!

And it’s nice to finally be wearing bras that fit now : ) Hello, a whole new cup size!

When I got home early that night I tried cleaning our bedroom as best I could which Bub just finished painting and I dusted off our gorgeous and lovely matching bedroom set.  Our new mattress was set to arrive the next day so I tried to do some cleaning.  Then I exercised! Yeah! And I was so tired that I fell asleep and thought of Molly who wrote about this very sort of thing a while back when at 4am I woke up and didn’t find my husband sleeping next to me when I reached out for him.  No, he was passed out on his friend’s couch after way too many margaritas and not a person to drive him home (even though I told him I’d pick him up).  So I called him when I woke up again at 5, infuriated at the fact that he didn’t call to say he wouldn’t be home.  What if he wasn’t okay? He was okay and I got pissy when he got home at 8:30.  I found him upstairs after a curt hello from me.  He was sleeping like a little baby on our new mattress which arrived promptly at 7:04 am (I had been up since 6:30).  There weren’t yet linens on the bed so he had a quilt wrapped around him.  Too cute to scold at that moment.

I did all sorts of stuff around the house while he slept, then I had a tiny nap and got ready for a windows guy to give an estimate on our…windows! I gave Bub a hard time for not calling the night before to say he’d be late or that he’d be staying over his friend’s when he woke up 1/2 hour before the window guy was to show.  We listened to window guy go on and on for two hours.  When he finally left I told Bub to get ready; we were going out and he smelled like a booze bag. 

He was listening to messages on the phone and said, um, honey? I left you a message but forgot I did.  And there it was at 1:53am.  A late message, but a message nonetheless.  I felt like an ass.

We did some errands, had lunch, went to a dinner party, saw our friend in a color guard show.  Sigh.  I got all emotional as I miss that part of my life. 

Yesterday we attended our first baby fair.  We found a car seat and stroller we like (and think we can use although I’m scared that I won’t be able to lift heavy things like strollers and that I’ll look like the weak mommy and people will ask if they can help me and I’ll  feel embarrassed because I had a baby, pushed the thing out and yet I cannot pick up a stroller). 

Then we went shopping at at least three different stores and by this time I was grouchy.  I just wanted to find a comforter/duvet cover/quilt that worked with our new bedroom color scheme and the new bed.  And we failed.  We went to Bed & Bath, Linens ‘n Things, Sears, Macy’s, and I think that’s it.  Where do you like to buy bed linens? At least we found sheets we like…zzzzz

We made it to our local dairy/creamery for the first time since moving and brought home yummy frozen yogurt that tastes like nothing low fat.  This, after we had dinner and I survived the blue cheese incident that I shall not speak of for it will bring out The Crazy.

We moved out of the guest room now that we are more settled in our newly painted bedroom with new furniture and the newly upgraded Queen bed (yes, we were in a full still!) and then I read some of the baby stuff we received from the fair before we turned out the light at midnight. 

Today has been going so-so.  It is Monday, after all, right folks? I want noodles.

Love,

itsybitsy mama who will be TWENTY WEEKS (1/2 way there!!!) this Friday! : )

i wake up in the morning with a dream in my eyes

When I was planning my wedding, I used to dream that my dress came in and it was black and it was too late; I had to wear it.  I forgot to buy shoes and since none I had were good enough, I went barefoot down the aisle in the church.  Flowers were never solidified so we had none or some half-dead things from the market.  I was a wreck.

And then I woke up.

I’ve been trying to draw on my dreams for information as to what this pregnancy will bring, especially what it will deliver: a boy or girl.  I’ve told numerous people I think I’m having a boy and I’ve gotten used to it.  Fire engines on crib linens, blues (well, I love blue anyway), and thinking about how old our son will be as compared to Bub’s friend who just delievered a boy last week.

And if I have a girl? I think I will be really surprised–pleasantly surprised–but surprised.  It’s just this feeling I have, of having a boy.  I dreamed once that I had a boy.  And I refer to “it” the baby, the bump, as a “he”. 

Bub won’t speculate.  Nor did he really comment when I said that I had a dream about our baby last night.

I dreamed that I had a baby chick. 

 Yup.  A chick.  I gave birth to an egg.  And then one day the egg hatched and I was overjoyed.  The chick, my offspring, had been born! I was so proud!

But, dear readers, it gets more interesting.  As the chick grew, it grew into the very spitting image of my childhood cat–not a kitten, a full grown cat, gray with yellow eyes. 

But before the dream ended, I needed to make sure of one thing. 

Was it a boy or a girl cat?

It was a girl.

18 weeks

Even though it’s chilly and the wind is whipping through the air, it’s sunny and I’ll take it.

Today I’m 4.5 months pregnant and in two weeks, I’ll hit my halfway mark for this pregnancy. 

It’s scary.  But scary good!

I think I’ve felt movement, but until the jabs and kicks get stronger and more constant, for now it’s going to feel like a bubble in my stomach here and there.  Last night I felt something low in the middle part of my stomach.  Sort of a vibration but sort of not.  And I put the TV on mute (because apparently it was too distracting to listen to it and feel what’s going on in my tummy).  I said aloud, “Baby, are you moving around in there?”

You can probably guess nobody answered.  (I know, shocker!)

I did my pregnancy DVD workout yesterday for the first time since I received it in the mail a week ago.  The woman who does the exercises? Absolutely all muscle and no fat.  Her belly was rock hard–you could tell where her six pack would be if she wasn’t prego.  She was my age or a little older.  It was actually quite inspiring.  If she can do those exercises, so can I! I am a little sore today.  Does it count that I’m healthy if I made brownies before the workout and ate a couple afterwards? Thought so.

Finally, lots of people I read talk about “The Crazy”–well I have it times 1,000 when it comes to this pregnancy.

Anxiety is my best friend and it’s rather busy inside my head.  Take this morning for example.  I am anti-caffeine (aside from any in chocolate, of course) as it’s been linked to miscarriages.  I have an aversion to coffee anyway since I’ve been pregnant.  In the beginning, the smell killed me.  Gagalicious.  Now, I am back to enjoying the smell, but I will only have it sweetened as in a vanilla latte (decaf) or a mocha (decaf).  I tried plain old coffee (decaf) twice with just skim milk, the way I usually drank it before the pregnancy and it now tastes like dog poo (really).  So this morning as Bub drove me to work (he has the day off; lucky man!), we stopped at Starbucks. 

I am anal about asking for confirmation as to whether or not the coffee I order is decaf.  I ordered it as such, Bub made them repeat the order, and then we were too busy getting our drinks situated and then driving to the office when I realized I didn’t ask for confirmation about the coffee being decaf.  Again.  So I picked a fight with Bub. 

“Did you hear him say it was decaf?”

“Ummmm, no.  But you can have some caffeine.  It’s OK.”

“NO! I don’t want to have it.  It increases miscarriage risk.”

“The doctor said it was OK, though.”

“Yes, she did say that if I was having a headache and needed something to take it away that it was okay–but she meant it was OK to have a sip of Coke while taking a Tylenol.”

“It’s OK.”

“She said to stay away from the caffeinated Starbucks stuff.”

“She said to stay away from Grande coffees.”

“This IS a Grande coffee!!!!”

“No, she meant the big ones.”

Sigh.

I should feel content that we asked for decaf, they repeated the order, and that’s what I got.  But they didn’t check any boxes off.  And I feel pathetic to have written a post 50% about this situation.

I think I had better just drink the drink…

Happy Easter.

Love,

itsy bitsy mama

Happy Spring!

It may not feel or look like spring where you are.  It certainly doesn’t in Boston, but it is officially spring!!

I bought baby a little outfit yesterday.  Unfortunately I couldn’t find the cute hat online that says “All Natural” at the top and has little ears.  It’s white.  But I did find the onesie:

i think it’s time

to get new bras

I heard that’s one of the first things you need to get in pregnancy, but I didn’t get it.  My belly was growing, but my chest was not.  At least it seems the same outside of the fact that they feel heavy and firm.  Now? I’m having a serious coverage issue.  And? I’m on the last hooks of the three sets they give you for fastening…

to get more pants

I wear the same 2 pairs of maternity pants over and over again along with the only pair of corduroys that fit (zipper and buttoned completely!) with a large enough waist to accommodate my new belly.  And with spring almost here, I don’t feel cute knowing that I’m wearing a repeat of Saturday’s outfit today even though it’s clean.

to get new black flats

I bought a pair last year for my first trip to London sans the boss.  And they are fab and also beat up, worn, beat up and worn.  I’m looking for suggestions.  I don’t dislike a pointy pair, but they have to look good with everything–skirts, casual pants, dress pants, capris, etc.  And comfort! That is key.  (Also, cute! Have to be cute!)

What do you think it’s time for?

person

It’s funny when you’re reading pregnancy books on the toilet while experiencing a stomach ache from eating too much pizza and realize that the things you’re digesting with your eyes, the words “your baby is the size of a turnip!” make you realize that you’re not reading just anything, you’re reading how to prepare for another person to enter your life after they’ve slid through the ol’ birth canal.

Unlike books that tell you how to plan a wedding or retile your bathroom floor, these books are telling you about the things that your body is doing without you even knowing it and that hey, a person, separate from you, will arrive in nine months.  Or, in my case, five. 

And it’s also hard to grasp that all this reading I’m doing now? Is just to prepare for what will come with getting bigger, birth, breastfeeding, etc.  When, in fact, I haven’t yet touched on what to do with the little bug once it’s here. 

A woman I work with recently gave birth to a girl.  And she wrote to me saying that she loves motherhood.  All she wants to do is hold her and nothing gets done all day.

I feel like I already get that.

Today we had another ultrasound.  We saw the four chambers of the heart, the brain, spine, stomach, vocal cords, eyes, fists and then fingers, legs and toes.

Today we could have learned if she’ll be a little princess or he’ll be a little prince.

But the little bug did a little baby dance and we knew that either way we’d be ready for this person because the love? It’s already alive.

Love,

itsy bitsy mama

hello down there

Sometimes I forget I’m pregnant, sitting at my desk all day at work, looking up blankly at my manager when she starts asking me to prepare items for when I’m maternity leave.

This is really happening.

I’m a fairly superstitious person and a negative one at that.  In the back of my mind I’m always playing devil’s advocate and thinking well, what if something happens? Of course I only want smooth sailing, but what if?

It’s a dangerous game, this one my mind plays, but that’s what all the breathing I’ve been doing in my prenatal yoga class is for, no?

Yesterday I wore a new maternity shirt to work.  I have a couple of these and have worn them before, but I got many compliments on this one.

You look pregnant, Courtney.

And I just look again, blankly, thinking, my pants have been tight for a few weeks now and my gut is definitely hanging out there.  Did I just look big those other days?

A friend at work said do you really still feel fat? Don’t you feel pregnant?

In actuality, I felt more pregnant tossing my cookies and praying for the nausea to pass with a pout on my face.  But now that I’m wearing maternity wear and feeling good overall, I just feel content.  Normal.  With some added pounds.

Every day I’m closer to wanting to meet my baby, to pinch its toes and bum! I have so much love to give and no one has even arrived yet!

Last night, after I fell asleep on the couch sitting up (this is new for me, the sitting up part), I dragged myself upstairs after my husband offered to clean up the mess of the kitchen I had left behind.  Isn’t he the sweetest? And I thought, I MUST take some belly photos.  Except the shirt I wore? The cute one that I just referred to? Well it got all wrinkly and the nursery? It’s full of boxes and books.  So give me a break, huh? There’s plenty of time for me to perfect my photography skills, no?

So here I am–tomorrow marks 17 weeks! Woot!

Front!

Side!

Side sans shirt! (I don’t know why my pants are hiked up in the back–I chalk it up to having fallen asleep and looking crazy.)

Oh, and, I took these with my new phone! But they either post small like this or really, really large.  So hopefully the digital camera works out better next time.

Happy Almost Weekend!