So here we are! 2007! Happy New Year!
We had a fun day and night yesterday. We bummed around most of today with one venture into the rain for salty food and the ultimate hangover cure drink: Diet Coke with a wedge of lime. Ohhh, so yummy.
I just finished going through my part of the filing cabinet and desk as far as papers go. It had been a long time since I went through old pay stubs from my first job, old checks that had been voided, paperwork for my old car, stubs from my first payments of my new car. So much had piled up. Most of it stated my old name. It was weird how my status has changed and now my identity. My new last name quietly started appearing on more and more documents.
On Friday, at what has turned into a weekly manicure appointment, I had a run in with two fellow high school classmates. I was half surprised and half not to come to learn the actions that would take place. Classmate A was a friend from nursery school. Then we parted separate ways to our respective elementary schools. Then in middle, and later in high school, she would become one of the many snobs lurking in the hallways, at the lockers, eyeing us in the cafeteria, and even in the classroom. So I was not surprised by her behavior: a look up and down at me and then back to choose her color before proceeding to the pedicure space.
For the record, I have not been on Extreme Makeover. I have never dyed my hair–not even highlights, and I was the only person with my first name in our class of 256 students. This girl KNEW me. And as adults, I was shocked to find that a mere hello or acknowledgement that we are human BEINGS was too much for her.
In walks behind her Classmate B: class president, #2 student, now Harvard grad. She says, is that “First name, last name”? I turn and after a brief silence, state that it is. I pondered whether or not to come up with a cute reply that I was actually “First name, NEW last name”. But part of me felt a disconnect from Classmate B. Part of me felt like it’s not my nature to blurt out these things. I felt like it was sort of privileged news to share. Which is weird since my rings announce this very fact. Anyway, after a mere couple of questions, I learn a thing or two about her. And then I get:
You’re acting so serious.
And for a second. I think. Okay. This girl is nice. This girl used to be my friend. Truly. And then of course, we drifted and it was okay. And there were no bad feelings. But I was already being judged. And it has been 9 years (scary) since we graduated. So I replied with the usual: I am? And the conversation faded out from there.
When she walked away I didn’t internalize her words, for once, although writing about this incident might imply this is the case. But I’m okay. I’m okay with who I am, who I was, and who I strive to become.
2007, here I come.